love, love, love.

I am

so in love,

it almost freaks me out.

My 11/30/09 vows from an earlier post.

Here are my vows:
*I'm going to date Byron.
*And I'm going to take things slow.
*No sex for a while.
*I won't do Kris, I won't do Shelby.

I've followed each and every single one of these. :)

it's been a good while!

Let's catch up.

Well, let's talk about god damn irony, because literally no more than thirty minutes after that last post, I got a message from this guy named Jake. And things immediately heated up. Mainly sexually, which didn't really solve anything at all for me. But it was a good distraction for a while. Anywho, yeah, I guess you can say I kind of liked the kid for a few days, but it was all just lust, and barely that. He wasn't that cute! :/

I ended the "talking" with him on January 8, 2010. And am still getting dirty looks from his friends. Ha. Ha. Ha. Dicks.

Next day, Byron asked me out. Unexpectedly. And I thought he was seriously going to say "Do you want to make out?" and not "Do you want to go out?" and I blurted out yes. I'm content with him. It's a day-to-day thing, and honestly, I have to get used to the whole monogamy thing. :/

He's great, though. And he might be my longest relationship! :)
Say a little prayer for meeeeee.
I just want to be sure about one person, for a long period of time. Not worrying about what I'm missing out on. :/

l-o-v-e, is just another word i've never learned to pronounce.

Seriously, it feels like I'm going to be alone forever.

It doesn't help when alllll my friends have someone there that wants them 24/7.

Cassie has the protective, near perfect boyfriend,

Truc has the guy that wants allll of her, but she's not into relationships.

Then there's me that has been single for a year, and I rush into things with guys.




And i can't help but think if my being alone is all part of a bigger plan,

like maybe once i'm alone for a while,

i'll remember what love is and how to properly like someone,

or if I'm meant to like Robbie again,

i don't know.

Maybe there is no bigger plan and I just suck and I'm meant to be by myself.

peyton sawyer is so wise.

   But, in a way, it’s like sex is the easy part. 

                                                                                                  You know, it’s...giving your heart to somebody; 

                                                                                                  that’s the scary part.